What really should be on our vision board

Hello gorgeous. How are you this lovely afternoon? Today I want to talk a little about delaying gratification. A quick story about why:

I had a bad boyfriend once (once, HAH, ok a few times). In this particular relationship there was a lot wrong, but the thing that sticks out in my hippocampus is him admiring another woman out loud to me (uh, red fucking flag amirite?). There was one woman in particular that he remarked about (too) often, she was pre-med and athletic and a lot of things I was just straight up not. He always admired her work ethic, that she could study for hours and hours and then go straight to the gym. He said she was great at “delaying gratification”. I work hard, but it stuck in my head and made me feel less-than.

Type A achievers are good at ‘delaying gratification’. In our delays we forget what we’re really here for: to craft a life well lived.

Our vision boards are crowded with goals, do the TED talk, run the marathon, make a million, be on a bullshit list of influential 20/30/40/50-year-olds. We set out aggressive milestones for ourselves and put a plan in place to hit them. Hard work and achievement are positive things, they help us grow and move our lives forward— but in the process of chasing gold stars, we forget to include the things that make our lives worth living.

Where on that vision board are the deep belly laughs with best friends?
Where are the 2 am soul chats?
Where are the all-night dance parties?
Where is the art, the naps, the great sex, the play?

Where did we get this notion that we have to suffer for our pleasure? That’s bullshit. We only have so many days, why should we put off sprinkling a bit of what makes life beautiful into every single one? We shouldn’t be delaying gratification— we should be optimizing our lives for gratification.

In 2019 I want to have more sleepovers, more belly laughs, more dance parties, more conversations overserved on soul. I want to do things that bring light, not just cheddar. You don’t have to earn rest. You can just rest. You don’t have to earn fun, or, light, or laughter, but you do have to choose it.

I’m going to put that shit on my 2019 vision board. Join me.