On using anger

Hello gorgeous. It’s a beautiful day and you’re looking brilliant as always. Let’s settle in and chat for a minute on white-hot anger.

Women (and people who care about women) in my life are angry. Not just angry, they're furious. Me too. In this political climate, it's hard not to be. I’ve been looking for guidance on what to do with that anger, and I found a podcast episode from Sister Joan Chittister on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday. She said this:

I see anger as grace.
I’m a woman.
Don’t tell me not to be angry about the suppression of women everywhere, all colors, all languages, all places.
I wouldn’t give up that anger for anything.
It’s fuel.
It will keep me going on behalf of women when I'm 10 inches away from the edge of the grave.
I will not give up.

It stopped me in my tracks. I had been trying to find a way to help the women in my life exorcise their anger. I was doing what I was told.

We’re taught to push the anger it down, bury it.
Your fury isn't sexy, so make it go away.
Your rage isn't ladylike, so get some crystals and work that shit out.

We're taught that our anger makes people uncomfortable, so it isn't an emotion available to us. Make them comfortable. Grit your teeth and smile dammit, you’re making it weird.

But that's not how anger works. Anger isn't something to exorcise or bury, it's something to follow. It can be a map of what needs changing in our lives. It can show us what our nonnegotiables are. It gives us a valuable signal that something is wrong. It shows us what we're passionate enough about to get up and do something about. Our anger can mobilize us, it can motivate us to act.

When we push it down, we miss that signal. When we numb our anger with food, or booze, or sex, or shopping— we miss the opportunity to change something that needs our intervention.

There is intelligence in your fury. Listen to it. What request does your anger have? Does it need you to make a change in your personal life? Is it alerting you to something wrong up in the world? Figure out what your anger is asking for and why. Then when you need to, get up and act.

I agree with Sister Joan Chittister, I wouldn’t give up this anger for anything.