The gap

Hello gorgeous, I'm so happy to see you this morning. It's time for our weekly coffee, so pull up a comfy chair, put the kettle on, and let's dish. I want to talk a little bit about the gap (sans '90s-era neon yellow sweatshirts).

I call the space between having a question and knowing the answer, the gap. The gap is the unknown, the fear of making a change in your life when you don’t know what the outcome will be. Humans are really bad at the gap, we are terrible at operating in spaces where there is an unknown.

We like comfort. We like knowing what will happen next, even if it’s bad, more than we like not knowing. When we leave our comfort zone, our brains scream at us to get back to safety— to the boring relationship, to the job we don’t like, to the life that isn’t fulfilling us, to the patterns that feel normal. It’s easier to live there, that unsatisfying place, than to live in the gap.

Existing, and then thriving in the gap is an essential life skill you have to build to become an entrepreneur, an author, an artist, or to have any career or side hustle that risks something. Living brave and interesting lives require us to exist in that space of the unknown.

It doesn’t happen overnight, but when you choose an unconventional path—the unknown becomes more comfortable over time. You learn to lean into the fear, listen to it, but don’t let it chart your course. Day after day do the thing that is scary, and day after day it gets a little less scary. Uncertainty becomes the air you breathe, and you keep living anyway. And when you’re really scared, remind yourself that no one who did anything worthwhile was comfortable while they did it.

If you’re waiting for it to feel safe to chase your dream or change your life, it won’t. Do it anyway.